this is all about real life of love sex passion and fear.. i hope you're guys enjoy with my blog..

Aug 27, 2008

Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?

By Psychologist, Bruce Christopher

As a psychologist, I can assure you that the greatest commodity you possess is your ability to communicate. People who are excellent communicators have better relationships, better marriages, raise more functional children - and they tend to be more successful in their careers. In fact, many years ago a classic survey was done to graduates of the Stanford University engineering department; they wanted to find out what made a great engineer. The results were significant; the respondents indicated that only 20% of their success was due to their technical expertise, while the other 80% was due to their people skills.

Think about what makes your company great. It is not your organization's fine technology or its spiffy offices; it's you! It is the people that make a corporation a phenomenal one. Communication is also the greatest commodity of your organization; your ability to communicate with your teammates, your customers and clientele is what makes you successful. That's why companies are called "organizations" - it is an organism, a living entity made up of real people who give it energy with their interpersonal interactions. Communication runs your company.

About 4 years ago in San Diego, a woman introduced me to the audience and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I think about Bruce Christopher every single day." Wow, I thought, what a nice thing to say. She continued, "The reason I think about him everyday is because three years ago in a seminar, he taught me how men think and speak differently from women. I still apply those concepts and strategies whenever I talk to my male colleagues at work and my husband at home." Another "Wow" - three years of retention and application after a training seminar is fantastic!

But what happens whenever we try to communicate with someone of the opposite sex? A whole new dynamic takes over and it often feels like we are talking to someone from another planet!

In my seminar on "Voice Mail/Voice Female", I ask the audience to understand these three very important points:

  • Men and women THINK differently
  • Men and women SPEAK differently
  • Men and women DECIDE differently

    If you are not aware of these differences, you will not be an effective communicator when dealing with your opposite sex colleagues, customers, and teammates.

    For example, after attending a half day workshop, Tim Thoele of Principal Financial Group - Minneapolis (MDRT Court of The Table Qualifier), wrote us and said:
    "Your three hour session was one of the most informative workshops I have attended and found so many principles that I could apply in my own life. I walked away from your session and immediately applied what I had learned."

    My first experience involved a very good client, who happens to be a woman. Upon arriving for a very important meeting with her I kept in mind your comment that women hold eye contact for an average of 12 seconds, and men hold eye contact an average of 3 seconds, leading women to believe that men don't hear them. I decided to test your theory and apply your "12 second" technique. As she talked to me, I kept eye contact with her for 12 seconds. . .believe me, they seemed like very long 12 seconds. However, because of my attention to eye contact, she felt I really understood her needs and it ended up being one of the most successful meetings I ever had with her. . . .

    Before testing your theories, I never understood how soft skills, such as gender difference communication, could directly impact my bottom line.

    How do men and women think differently?
    Men and women are equally intelligent but men and women tend to view the world through differing frameworks. To put it succinctly, men think COMPARTMENTALLY and women think GLOBALLY: it all has to do with how men and women store information and file away data in their cognitive memory banks.

    Men, who think compartmentally, tend to separate out details and store them in distinct "compartments" which I liken to a file-cabinet-drawer system. A man, in his mind, has a file drawer for work, one for wife, for hobbies, etc, Because of this cognitive framework, men tend to open and close the "drawers" which they need in the immediate moment and they tend to stay exclusively in that compartment. The result is that when a man is in one compartment, nothing else exists except that one compartment.

    Women, on the other hand, tend to see life from a more global perspective. Whereas men separate things out, women tend to do the opposite and connect things up. Women see the underlying connections and the interrelated detail and data more clearly than men do. It is interesting to sit in a staff meeting and observe how the men see the end objective clearly, but they may have a more difficult time perceiving how one underlying piece of information could swing around and impact the end result later on. Yet the women in the group see this possibility more readily. Both ways of thinking, compartmental and global, are great ways to think, they both have their own inherent strengths and weaknesses; but put us together on the same team, or in the same relationship, and the mysteries start.

    An example, which most people in corporate America can relate to, is being in conflict with someone of the opposite sex at work. For example, Joe and Sally are having an important business discussion on Friday afternoon in the office. They have different views on an issue and are both emotionally invested in their respective positions. Then, five o'clock comes and it's time to go home and enjoy the weekend, but the discussion was never finished and a resolution was not achieved. What does the man in our story do? He goes home, closes his work file-drawer-compartment, opens up the weekend compartment and stays in that drawer all weekend long. I generally ask my audience what happens for the female in this example; all the women in the group answer immediately, "She stews about that conflict all weekend!" She ruminates and thinks about the unresolved issue with her teammate, and come Monday morning wants to find some closure to the problem.

    Then the most amazing thing happens on Monday. Joe, arrives at work and closes his weekend-file-drawer-compartment and opens up the Monday-morning-at-work-file-drawer-compartment. Sally approaches him and wants to revisit the discussion from last week. She says, "Joe, could we talk a little more about the issue from last week?" And guess what he says. "What issue? Oh that? That's in the past. It's water under the bridge. I can't believe you are bringing that up again!" And he thinks that she is just trying to drag him through old issues just for the fun of it. He can't understand why she can't let go of the past.

    In actuality what is happening is the difference between compartmental and global thinking patterns. He perceives no connection between the fight from last week and working together this week - he has compartmentally separated them out. For her, she feels an underlying connection between conflict and a successful working relationship. Far from wanting to drag him through the past again, she is doing a reality-check; "we were in conflict last week, I just want to make sure things are resolved so that we can get on with the business at hand."

    One of the great tensions that women feel in business is a sense of being left hanging and not finding closure in conflict. Men tend to close the drawer on conflict prematurely and may not see how unresolved issues can actually hinder performance and office morale. This is one small example of compartmental vs. global thinking. Can you think of other ways that these differing cognitive frameworks can create tension between men and women in business?

    How do men and women speak differently?

    Because of culture and differences in how little boys and girls are raised, adult men and women tend to have differing interpersonal styles which can create misunderstanding and communication mis-fires.

    Women tend to use an interpersonal style which is more historical and presented in a narrative fashion. Background and context are important pieces in the "Voice-Female. " In my seminars, I tell the audience that women speak in paragraph form supported with lots of details, and most importantly, the bottom-line coming at the end of the story. Makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Where else would you put the bottom-line except at the end of the story. Women enjoy the suspense of working up to the bottom-line, for the joy is in the telling of the story.

    However, men experience this enjoyment as agitation. Because in the "Voice-Male," men do not speak in paragraphs, they speak in phrases. Shorter, clipped, reporting statements without a lot of detail and surprisingly (or maybe not) the bottom-line comes not last, but first. And sometimes that's all you get! Which of course, can lead to excessive frustration for the female.

    In the average day, it has been estimated that a man speaks 12,500 words and a woman speaks about 25,000 words. This leads to the old joke about a man going to work and using up 12,495 words and coming home with only five words left! So when he arrives at home he says, "What's for dinner?" (that's three) and "Good night" (that's five!)

    Dr. Debra Tannen, a linguist and author on the subject, says that men and women use communication for different purposes. The purpose of communication for a man is to report a fact, while women use communication to build rapport. The mis-match of Report-Talk vs. Rapport-Talk can increase our interpersonal friction with the opposite sex at home and at work.

    For example, at the end of the day, wife may ask husband, "Hi honey, how was your day?" He answers the bottom-line: "Fine" - which is "Voice-Male" code for "nobody died and I still have a job; what else could you possibly want to know?" Of course what she is hoping for in her own language is more of a historical narrative with some details, which she does not get and thus may complain, "He never tells me anything. I have no idea what is going on in his life."

    At work, men and women also can speak different languages. Remember Joe and Sally who work at the same company? One day, Joe approaches Sally and asks her a bad question, "Sally, I wasn't at the staff meeting today, can you tell me what happened?" According to his "Voice-Male", what Joe wants to hear is simply the bottom-line; really only about a six word answer which sounds like this: "Joe, we postponed the Johnson proposal." That's the bottom-line isn't it. But Joe never asked for the bottom-line, so Sally speaks her own language to him and gives him "Voice-Female".

    She speaks in historical narrative fashion, supported with lots of detail, and at the end she says the bottom-line last. . ."And Joe, we postponed the Johnson proposal."

    I often ask the women in my audience, "As you speak to a male colleague in historical narrative, have you ever noticed their eyes glaze over?" This usually gets a round of applause. Women begin to believe that men are not listening to them, and of course the answer is that they are not. Not because men don't care what women say, it's all about how it is said. "Men cannot hear you women," I say to them, "because you are speaking a foreign language to them. You are not giving them 'Voice-Male', you are giving them 'Voice-Female'."

    In order to fix this communication chasm, both men and women make strategic mistakes. Sally, who knows that she is being tuned out, does what we Americans often do when we are in another country and we do not speak the native tongue: we speak our own language louder and slower. Sally may actually increase her historical narrative, giving more details and background, and/or raise her voice to get his attention. This tends to not work with men and Joe falls into the habitual trait that men often employ with women; he interrupts her. Studies demonstrate that men interrupt women in conversation 75% to 90% of the time. He finishes her sentence for her, cuts her off, gets her to change subjects or hurry up - all because he is agitated and waiting for what he really wants, the bottom-line.

    Due to the fact that men and women are working together more closely than ever before, the opportunity for communication chasms to appear are far more probable.

    It has been approximated that in a single day, the average office person can waste up to 38% of their day dealing with communication mis-fires and interpersonal tensions in the office. Other studies have observed that up to 70% of what you say to the opposite sex is either misunderstood or not heard. It is apparent how readily you could increase effectiveness and performance on your job simply by being aware of the different male and female voices.

    Great communicators are people who change their approach based upon the person they are talking too.

    So what do we do about these cognitive and interpersonal differences? The answer is: we change our approach. The biggest mistake that men make with women is that they relate and communicate with women as if they were men. The biggest mistake that women make with men is that they do the same - they relate and communicate with men as if they were women. In short, we use our own specific "gender voices" on the other sex and we wonder why "they just don't get it." We need to be aware of our own "Voice-Male" and "Voice-Female" styles and be open to changing our "voice" when the need arises.

    For example, another way that men and women use different voices is in how we ask for things that we need. Learned from childhood, women often use a style which has been called "hint language." This is when a woman expresses a need, wish, or desire framed in the form of a question, raising her shoulders as if she doesn't know what the answer is. In reality, this is a culturally respectful way that women have learned about how to ask for what they want. Wife may turn to husband and say, "Wouldn't it be nice to go see a movie today?" This is "Voice-Female" for "I want to go see a movie."

    Unfortunately, men don't often get the hint. The reason is that hint-language is not part of the "Voice-Male"; men tend to take language very literally, focusing in on the content of the message instead of the hidden meanings in the communication. Given the question, "Wouldn't it be nice to see a movie today?" Men just give the answer - "No." Women wonder, "Does he not hear me or care about what I want?"

    A client recently told me this story. One of their female supervisors gave a directive to her male staff member, but she said it in "Voice-Female": "Say Larry, if you don't mind and if you've got some time, would you please finish this project?" Now we all know that what she is really saying is, "Get it done!" But what does Larry actually hear? "Well, I've got a lot of options here," he thinks to himself, "Frankly I do mind and I don't have the time right now so I guess I'll not do it." Two weeks later the female supervisor approached Larry and asked why he hadn't finished the project.

    What are the true stories of communication mis-fires in your business? Have you noticed that men and women speak a different language and have different "voices?" If you have, then try to change your approach when speaking with the other gender.

    Men Can
    Men need to use "Voice-Female" when speaking with women. For example
  • Increase historical details
  • Give more background and context
  • Remember that women use communication to build rapport-connections
  • Spend more time asking questions and listening, moving slowly to the bottom line
  • When you listen, be sure to maintain eye contact, nod your head, be attentive and give what I call "listening noises" (i.e.; "Uh-huh, umm, hmmm"). Why do you do this? Because this is the "Voice-Female"; women give off interpersonal signals to the speaker of the conversation which lets them know they are being heard. A woman feels heard by another woman because of her listening noises.
  • Increase non-verbal excellence in communication by trying to read between the lines when listening to women; work on picking up some of the hints that she may be dropping for you. Listening is the art of communicating.

    Women Can
    Women need to use "Voice-Male" when talking to men. For example:
  • Give the bottom-line first
  • Resist the thought that he needs the context and the background. A great technique to try is to simply give him the bottom-line and then ask him if he wants more detail. Most of the time you will be surprised because he actually will. "Sally, what happened at the staff meeting?" says Joe. "Well Joe," says Sally, "We decided to postpone the Johnson proposal." (pause and then continue) "Would you like to hear more details about that?" This is "Voice-Male." Try it and you may find the men in your life hearing you and remembering what you say more effectively.
  • Avoid speaking in hint language. Remember that men tend not to hear the hints; they hear a question that needs an answer - so they answer it. Be direct. Instead of saying, "Wouldn't it be nice to go see a movie today?" Speak in "I statements" such as "I want" or "I need" - try not to put men in the position of reading your mind or guessing what you are saying. Women, who have become excellent leaders, have learned the art of assertive and respectful communication that doesn't sound pushy or aggressive.

    Remember that when it comes to communication, delivery is everything. It's more of how you are saying it, than what you are saying.

    I worked with one client who was an outstanding female consultant, yet her business was not generating enough revenue to keep her busy. In reviewing some of her written proposals, I found she was speaking in "Voice Female"; the "bottom-line" in her proposals were on the last page of a 30 page document. Knowing that her potential clients were men, I suggested she place the bottom line on the first page and then follow it with the details of the proposal. Her sales increased immediately. It was necessary for her to change her approach to fit the interpersonal style of her customers, who were men.

    Take a piece of paper and outline ways that you can change your approach to more effectively communicate with members of the opposite sex in your profession. Imagine the opportunity to increase your success with your customers and colleagues just by speaking in a way so they can hear you. Remember, speak THEIR language, not yours.

    Psychologist, Bruce Christopher is one of the most sought after speakers in the Fortune 500. His unique style of EnterTrainment® blends practical applications within a laughing environment.

  • When it's time to say goodbye - really!

    You both care deeply about each other, but something's not quite right. Neither of you wants to end the relationship, but for some reason one or both of you aren't quite getting your needs met.

    It could be that one of you wants more than the other can give, it could be due to a long distance relationship, or it could be that one of you wants to change the other. There are many things that can disrupt a really good relationship, but once this disruption occurs, it's not easily forgotten, unless things do change.

    This kind of situation is a painful and upsetting experience for both. I've been on this merry go round three times, and each time I didn't try and get off because I didn't want to deal with the pain it was going to cause me. Especially when the rest of the relationship was going so well. But the longer you stay on this roundabout the more it ends up hurting.

    Recently I had the same thing happen again, we were both happy being together, but he never had time to see me due to his work hours. I understood that this problem was not going to go away. And for once I took control. As much as I loved being with this man, I wasn't going to compromise my life, or who I was, as well as waiting and hoping that things would become better. So I took the long road. I walked. I did it calmly, rationally, and with dignity (well there were a few tears spilt, but I wasn't hysterical, so I think that's acceptable). There were no fights, no arguments, just a felling of sadness from both parties.

    This is the first time I have tackled a great, but just not quite right relationship this way. It was difficult walking out of the door once I had made up my mind (I have to admit, the first time I brought it up and said it was over, I drove straight back to his house). But a week later when we were having dinner 'as friends', I found myself kissing him passionately in a restaurant. We went back to his house, watched a movie like old times, while he kept telling me he liked this "spending time together broken up".

    I realized it was bordering ridiculous. How many times was I going to drag out the inevitable? I almost stayed the night, when somehow from somewhere, this common sense, which I'd never experienced before said "get out of here now, this could go on for months, 'pretending' that we're not together when we were." Somehow I managed the strength to stand up, walk down the stairs and say goodbye. It hurt, and it was hard. But once in the car driving home, I knew I had made the right decision. I felt sad, yet strong and empowered. I knew I wouldn't allow myself to be put in that situation again.

    What amazed me the most, this action had taken me ten years to learn. I think that's why I was finally able to do it. At 28 years of age, I really don't have the time to muck about in a relationship that was not meeting my needs. By this age I really should have learnt a few things, such as the saying "If nothing changes, nothing changes". I guess it was ME that had eventually developed an enormous amount of self-respect when it came to men. I was no longer going to be the one who just couldn't let go when I knew it wasn't going to work, even when things were near to perfect. If the imperfection in the relationship is bothering you a lot, near to perfect is not good enough. When you go back for more, (and more and more) the heartache becomes unbearable. And I felt I couldn't do it to myself again.

    So the moral of this story girls, is don't be second best, don't let a relationship take over your whole world, when you know the best thing to do is walk away, even if you believe that this man is your soul mate. If he is, then I strongly believe your turn will come around again, once you've both grown. But never, I repeat never place yourself in a relationship where you are not satisfied and are compromising your own needs (although, make sure your expectations are realistic).

    This time round, as much as I still hurt, I feel strong. I haven't gone back crying on his doorstep, telling him I'd made the wrong decision (only to end it a week later). Remember the saying your Mum always said "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was". That saying use to annoy the hell out of me, now it just makes me smile. You never know what's around the corner, and it's best not to sneak a peek, because the unexpected could be amazing, and isn't the element of surprise the best part?

    10 Reasons To Stay Single

    This article is dedicated to all the girls out there in "Singledom". Whoever said that single girls don't have more fun?

    Relationships are all about compromise.Being single on the other hand, is all about being in control and taking charge of yourself.

    You are the Queen of your domain. Being single allows you to be self-indulgent without the need to feel guilty.

    Often when in relationships, girls become self-conscious about their body image.

    Being single means you are no longer a slave to the way you look.

    Single girls can stop worrying about their image 24 hours a day, as they have no one to please but themselves.

    Relationships involve sharing and sometimes that means everything! Some guys are content to just share your chocolate with you, but when they insist on borrowing YOUR clothes, you know you're in trouble!The beauty of being single is that you don't have to share with anyone - it's all about you, you, and you baby!

    Relationships mean loss of party-life.

    Single life means partying to dawn!

    You get to meet different types of people while mingling in different circles.

    Being single is all about fun, spontaneity and even more fun! So what are you waiting for - Network girlfriend!

    Single girls are footloose and fancy-free.

    Being a free agent entitles you to see whom you want, when you want.

    Being single allows you to flirt with a guy, without feeling guilty!

    Rediscover your own body clock. Single girls should enjoy the freedom; answer to no one and do things in their own timeframe.

    Remember that single life can be a headache-free, hassle-free, wonderful Life!

    Spell on How to Attract the Right Partner

    It's a strange experience for a writer to be peeking into other people's bedrooms. Not literally, of course, but through the case studies I choose to include in my books. Tackling the topics of love, lust, relationships and fertility this time around meant that I needed to cajole those brave souls who were willing to be my magical guinea pigs. Asking a couple to trust you to improve their sex life, or to trust you at the worrisome time prior to undergoing IVF, is a big request. Thankfully, I was able to convince a number of wonderful people across three continents to do just that.

    When I first decided to write about the Witch's Way as it applies to love, it was important to me to ensure that at its heart it had integrity, truth and a distinctly modern take. It is a recurring theme in my work to take the ancient wisdom of Witches and apply it to modern problems. Witches have always been good in the bedroom!

    We are able to assist when it comes to building a solid personal foundation, attracting the right partner, keeping the lust alive and even when it comes to cleanly breaking the bonds when a relationship goes sour. We know, through our vast herbal and nature-based wisdom, which plant to use to balance hormones and which ones get the juices flowing. Our whole spiritual practice is based around creation and pleasure (which is in contrast to many other mainstream religions), and so Witches, I believe, are in a prime position to influence matters of the heart and body in significant ways.

    I didn't want Witch in the Bedroom to be "just another spell book." My intention wasn't to instruct anyone on how to turn their boyfriend into a frog or show how to curse that nasty ex. Rather, I wanted it to demonstrate how - through the Witch's Way - the reader can attract and keep an ideal partner, build a greater connection with each other, ramp up their sensual pleasure and even conceive more easily, if that's their desire.

    I purposely delve into the nitty-gritty issues, such as co-dependence and sexual disassociation, because they are such common complaints in today's world. However, keeping fun in it...such as a section on Sex by the also just as important in keeping lust and love alive."

    Which State has the most romantic men?


    Sydneysiders are most likely to be single, Brisbane women are demanding, Perth-based men are the most generous spenders, while men living in Melbourne are the most likely to say it with flowers according to a national survey about Valentines Day.

    According to the 5th quarterly Australian Pleasure Survey commissioned by online gift voucher service RedBalloon Days, of the 3,005 respondents, 79.9% of all respondents will celebrate the day with a partner.

    Of the men and women living in Sydney only 78.0% and 79.0% of respondents respectively will enjoy Valentines Day with a partner, compared to 87.5% of Perth men and 93.2% of Adelaide women.

    However, according to the chief of experiences at RedBalloon Days, Naomi Simson, most Australians are both realistic and romantic about Valentines Day.

    "Adelaide people are the most likely of all Australians (92.5% vs the national average of 88.5%) to view Valentines Day as too commercial," said Simson, "yet 95.8% of all respondents have bought a Valentines Day gift at least once in their lives".

    "Men are the big spenders, with 50.8% spending $150 or more, compared to just 34.5% of women," said Simson. "Of those who have spent $200 or more, 35.1% are men, and 20.3% are women."

    The biggest spenders are Perth men and Sydney women (41.7% and 23.3% respectively) who have spent $200 or more on Valentines Day gifts, while the nation’s stingiest romantics are women living in Perth (19.1%) and Adelaide men (19.0%) who have spent less than $50 on gifts.

    "Surprisingly few people (12.8% of women, 7.1% of men nationwide) said they would be embarrassed if they didn’t receive anything on the day," said Simson. Those who say otherwise are Brisbane women (14.5%) and men living in Melbourne (10.4%).

    Of all Australians, female Brisbanites are the most likely to agree that Valentines Day creates a lot of expectations when you’ve just started dating (82.1% vs national average of 77.9%), it is a good test to see if you’re taken for granted by your partner (32.4% vs 27.6%), it’s embarrassing not receiving something at work on the day (14.5% vs 11.6%), and Valentines Day, their birthday and Christmas are the only times their partner does acknowledge them (27.4% vs 11.2%).

    The most sensitive souls seem to belong to Melbourne women, and Perth men, who were the most likely to agree that Valentines Day is distressing for those without a partner (66.5% and 54.0% vs national average of 63.3% for women, and 47.6% for men respectively).

    Sydney men were the most likely of all male respondents to want to celebrate Valentines Day by taking their partner on a dinner for two or a picnic (32.2%), Perth men planned to take them on a weekend away (62.5%) while Brisbane men wanted to celebrate with something out of the ordinary (35.0%).

    Adelaide women and Brisbane men ((48.2% and 50.0% vs national male and female average of 38.9% and 43.7% respectively) are the most likely of all to plan the gift and Valentines Day itself for weeks beforehand.

    According to Simson, tastes in Valentines Day gifts have changed. "The survey found that only one in five men and one in 13 women want to give flowers, chocolates, fragrance or lingerie as gifts on the day, and the majority want to enjoy a weekend away or a dinner for two with their partner," said Simson.

    While a weekend away and a dinner for two are far and away the favourite Valentines Day gift options across Australia (57.3% and 30.4% respectively), some of the gifts appealed much more to residents of different cities. The top answer for each gift category was as follows:

    a weekend away Brisbane men (55.0%); Melbourne women (64.0%)
    a dinner for two Sydney men (39.2%); Adelaide women (32.2%)
    flowers Melbourne men (16.9%); Sydney women (2.7%)
    chocolates Adelaide men (9.5%); Adelaide women (5.4%)
    lingerie/underwear Perth men (8.3%); Adelaide women (1.7%)
    fragrance Sydney men (1.7%); Brisbane women (3.4%)

    Aug 7, 2008

    Chlamydia and When Sex is Not OK

    Sexual Assault

    The majority of young people in Australia feel positive about sex and get involved sexually at a time that's more or less right for them. Sadly, this isn't always the case. Sexual assault is "any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes a person feel fearful, uncomfortable or threatened. It includes any sexual activity that a person has not freely agreed to. All forms of sexual assault are criminal and the responsibility lies solely with the offender." Australian statistics show that the majority of victims of sexual assault are girls and young women. For both girls and boys, and young women and young men, the greatest number of victims of sexual assault are children, teenagers and young people under 25. Women who are sexually assaulted nearly always know the person who did it.

    The influence of drugs or alcohol

    There can be other times when sex is not OK either. Research shows that one quarter of Australian high school students who have had sex report that they were drunk or intoxicated the last time they did it. This meant the sex was unprotected, or that they didn't really want to have sex but were too 'out of it' to know.

    When a relationship is not equal

    Another, different situation, is when a young person has sex in exchange for money or some other reward. For some people this might be OK, but for others, it can obviously lead to abuse and exploitation. It is also illegal in most states and territories in Australia for someone in a position of authority over a young person to have sex with them if they are under 18 years. Teachers and sports coaches are examples of this.
    For someone who has been sexually assaulted, or who has had sex under circumstances which they don't feel completely OK about, it can make it much more difficult to even think about sexually transmitted infections like Chlamydia, let alone go to a doctor to ask for a test. That's why it can be useful to involve a 'support team' that might include a trusted adult, counsellor, sexual assault professional and a doctor.

    Some Girls Do: My Life as a Teenager

    For every woman who has been a teenager or is one now, a funny, quirky and revealing collection of stories by well-known Australian women writers about their teen years.

    You've read their bestselling novels and memoirs. Now some of Australia's favourite female writers recount the true stories of their teenage years in this bumper collection . . .

    Remember your high school formal, your first love, first kiss, first bra, and the first time you realised your parents weren't always right? Relive the joys (and the horror) of your adolescence with Some Girls Do . . ., as fifty-six inspiring and accomplished writers reveal how they survived those challenging years.

    Whether they're writing about adolescent angst, first crushes, and being a rock groupie, or battles with anorexia, sexual abuse, or family after deciding to become a nun, these women prove that while the teenage years are not necessarily the best, you can survive to tell the tale. The result is a wonderfully funny, moving collection of memories, of different times and different lives, told with honesty, insight, sensitivity and humour. No two experiences are the same, because while some girls don't have a care in the world, real or imagined, some girls do . . .

    Includes stories from 50 contributors including Nikki Gemmell, Belinda Alexandra, Gabrielle Lord, Jessica Adams, Jessica Rowe, Kathy Lette, Kate Holden and Rachel Oakes-Ash.

    All royalties will go to the SISTER2Sister Project, a mentor program for disadvantaged teenage girls and part of Life Changing Experiences. Allen & Unwin will also donate $1 from the sale of this book to SISTER2sister.

    About the Author:
    Jacinta Tynan is the author of Good Man Hunting, which was published in 2005. A news presenter with Sky News Australia, she previously worked as a national news presenter and reporter for ABC TV. Jacinta is also a keen actor, and her performances include The Vagina Monologues at Sydney's Ensemble Theatre. As the grand-niece of Nino Culotta (John O'Grady), author of They're a Weird Mob, writing is in her blood.

    About Me

    My photo